Student businesses- class 2

In the afternoon, I returned for the following entertaining startups:

This class opened with "Damnbowl guys" who help you break up with your girlfriend for a low low price. Apparently, "danbo" in Chinese means something like that. I didn't get the joke, but they did. Their phone number, 666, might be too hard to remember for some people, but a student's suggestion that they just remember "sexy, sexy, sexy" (written across some rather bootylicious female outlines) probably helped. The advertising was sightly disturbing and possibly a tad homophobic and gratuitous with a guy calling for help to break up with his girlfriend. The plan gets approved and when the lady in question arrives to meet with her future ex-boyfriend he is distracted by two girls walking by, giggling and holding hands. The girls then proceed to pet each other on the head and arms and hug in ways that made me feel uncomfortable! The girlfriend accuses her guy of checking them out and tells him that they are "homosexuals!" in a disgusted tone. She then rants about how her parents don't approve of homosexuality and how she finds it immoral. He breaks up with her by simply saying "oh! I need to tell you, I'm a homosexual too!" then walks off and hugs another guy. Priceless and ever-so-slightly offensive and inappropriate.

The other groups were less ridiculous, but still had their "did they really say that?!" moments. Par exemple: the next group's product "Cleaning Panacea: the only cleaning machine you'll need" is so awesome that a famous dancer/ singer person has a speech bubble sayig "Using cleaning panacea makes me want to dance while I am cleaning" and another girl begs her boyfriend to get her one too- "it's a great gift for your girlfriend!" "Why not your boyfriend?!" I ask.

A group of Doraemon fans were selling magical items from the show/ cartoon/ whatever, including a door to get anywhere (I am here, then once I step through it and "oh my god!" I am at home) and memorizing bread with stuff written on it that you instantly remember after you eat the bread.

One group was having some communication problems when they couldn't recognize their own names when called by another student. After they got over this fairly major hurdle, they introduced their product "Heal Can" from "King Air". These are cans of air from all over the world (high mountain air, ocean breezes etc) mixed with chemicals to help you enhance your looks (no need for makeup) or to make you fitter (you no longer need that gym membership). A handy robot (aptly played by a student) can help you by dispensing a can or refilling one you already have and teaching you how to use the cans themselves. The advertisement also included one of my students walking us through the steps of air collection with the words "go to the cliff! go to the cliff! don't fall off!!" and another pretending to climb the air conditioning unit.

The next project was for a home exchange website, a la The Holiday. Their slogan? "Exchange your home, exchange your life". The girl who was explaining the process had the word life accidentally projected onto her decolletage the whole time she was talking, which I found both artistic and awkward. This group also declared that "if you want your company to do well, you should spend money" and their service was "quite expensive... oh it's quite cheap" by turns.

3GB (3 girls + 1 boy) offered "perfect services, serve perfectness" with their Shopping guys' checkroom. Thir slogan was short and to the point: "Waiting? Enjoying!" This service was described as a room where girls can check their men, like they'd check a coat or bag, so that they can shop without their boyfriends or husbands complaining about the waste of time and money. However, as the man's job is to carry things, the service also provides a handsome escort to carry heavy things and protect the money. Also, a good way to have walking advertising, as they pointed out. The men would have access to drinks, sports on TV, movies, internet games etc... all the stereotypical male entertainments. At the opening of the service, it was promised that they would recruit more staff so that "our staff can have intercourse with the customers"... sketchy? They meant interaction/ provide more personalized service but... yeah, lost in translation. I ran this idea by Philippe who was less than excited about the handsome male escort, but other than that, quite willing to patronize this kind of establishment.

The 7th group offered the services of Pet Pet Love, which might have been copied from a real service- I choose to remain ignorant. Their group ran a pet hotel/ cafeteria/ salon and spa for animals of busy people, vacationers etc. They ahd some pretty amusing pictures of celebrities with their animals and one photoshopped to show Putin shaking hands with a student in the group. One hilarious option was the swimming pool/ diving area for hamsters... not sure how that would work out.

The closing performance was about an "idea sharing" business. For example, you need to get your girlfriend a gift. "here, dear, have my credit card, buy what you want"- "Oh! It's so boring!"
Therefore, you invest in this company that says "we need people, we need their brains". Sounds like it's a zombie powered firm, but at least, their ideas are better than yours!