My residence in this place has definitely put a kink in my new school year's resolution to keep a more regular blog. Every few days something crazy, weird or just "China" happens and I feel like I should share it with any readers or at least note it down for my future entertainment. Then I realize that all I can do is share it with my laptop until I can borrow someone's proxy and post. Result? No generation of a single written word since that last note from KL. I have notes about the oral presentations I just graded (they will turn into a post at some point), quotes from essays, anecdotes from Malaysia that I keep trying to remind myself of and that gave rise to Megan's and my catchphrase from that trip "Oh, well! At least it's a good story!" as well as the usual plethora of random meetings, weird and occasionally offensive student comments, new ELC developments and pre-EF gems.
Today though, as I sit in Jenica's apartment, shamelessly using her proxy to distract myself from the pile of essays I have yet to grade and babysitting her kitten who just got relieved of his ability to procreate, I just want to ramble. I'm not sure if these thoughts will be coherent or cohesive in any way, but I feel the need and desire to "share". It's been a stressful, busy and frustrating semester in a lot of ways and I've been adapting to certain new unignorable facts.
Fact #1- I am still in Shantou, China, despite the fact and repeated claim that "I am leaving at the end of this year" (said in 2007, 2008 and most recently 2009). The plan was to come here for a year, live somewhere else in China for the 2007-2008 school year and become quite competent in China, then return to 'the real world' and settle down somewhere, presumably with the reason I came here in the first place. Now, it's late 2009 and I am still here (as an astonished former student remarked a week ago) and by the time I leave (I'm saying it again, and this time hurt me if I go back on my word "I am leaving at the end of this year") I will have spent more time in this transitional place than I did at college. I am a "senior at STU" and determined to change directions as of July 2010. If it's good enough for the likes of Lok, Tracy, Jasmine and all, it's more than good enough for me.
Fact #2- I am now unattached and vascillate between being happy about it and living with thousands of "what-ifs". I won't expand on that state of affairs here, but suffice it to say that I have re-evaluated some things since August and have made some changes in my outlook and performance in life. It feels strange writing anything about this situation at all, but it's part of my reality and I figure anyone who cares to read my blog probably knows all about it already!
Fact #3- I have no diea which direction to go in after I leave Shantou. This is a by-product of Facts #1 and 2 and intensified by the feeling that I have gotten almost all I can out of my experience here. I could get a Master's in TESOL, Applied Linguistics or something similar and remain here/ return here, but I'm not sure that I would develop much more as a person and a teacher than I have already. Without singing my own praises, I think I can fairly say that I've come from an incompetent, nervous, shaking and shivering mass in front of the classroom and someone who thought her colleagues were so far out of her league to a confident equal to at least a few of the other members of the ELC faculty who has at least 1 out of 3 lessons that impart some form of knowledge and fewer than 1 out of 6 that totally bomb. If nothing else, my students will be well-versed in the uses of "it sucks!" and "awesome". I've been trying to vary my experiences here and to that end have become a coordinator, whose opinion is sometimes solicited, and leadership occasionally followed. I have been acting as advisor and counselor to various people around here (most notably one new teacher who seems to be having some troubel adjusting) and feel like this is finally "my place". Of course, that means I feel the need to leave it and so something different. Maybe if it wasn't for the fact that you have to make new friends every year, that doing anything other than planning/ grading or hanging out in someone else's apartment requires a 40 minute bus ride and that the discovery of the library has so far been the highligh of my year, I'd seriously consider staying here more or less permanently. But things being as they are, with 80F weather in November, no easy way to see family or non-current STU friends and no real Christmas spirit, I think I'll take my uprooting and resettling with a pinch of excitement and a healthy dose of relief. I just hope wherever I land it gets cold in the winter! Current interests include Paris, London, Newcastle, Edinburgh, Boston, New York, Washington DC, Seattle, Vancouver, Toronto and Montreal. Anyone have any leads there? I think I'll leave exoticism for my next fit of wanderlust!
Fact#4- I'm barely excited about visiting new places in Asia anymore. I'd go back to Koh Tao or take someone to Angkor (with just the one sunrise excursion probably) but I am not so intrigued by some of my other options. Is that bad? I really should be out there this winter discovering Indonesia or the Philippines, or even another part of India, but I keep having this image of myself bundled up wandering around the snow somewhere and that makes me want to skip the rest of Asia and go home, or at least somewhere familiar for Spring Festival. Decisions decisions. Maybe another sign that I need to move on.
Fact#5- (loosely connected to #3) I think I do want to go back to school sometime soonish. The discovery of the foreign language section of the new STU library sent me into geek-happiness, especially the collection of psych 101 and abnormal psych texts (they have the 101 book I used at Harvard Cont. Ed.) and the random smattering of Greek tragedies, both in English and Greek. Where did those come from?! Not sure what I'd go back for though. Psych? Classics? Teaching? Counseling? Law? Med? It's not like all these hours of introspection have given me any direction whatsoever. I just know that I remember liking learning and that when I sit there with terribly grammatically incorrect essays facing Euripides' Alcestis in the original, all I want to do is find a Liddell and Scott and get to work and that when a conversation comes up where I actually feel like I have interesting things to say (and it's unrelated to the best way to get through grading and planning without feeling your will to live floating away) I feel almost smart (or really dumb when the conversation goes over my head) and wish I could speak with more authority on intellectual things. I've even forgotten which one was the id and which one the ego... oh, my brain, where have you gone?
Fact#6- Students do not feel comfortable when office hours (and possibly other events) are held in a teacher's home. Knowledge I could have used approximately 3 years ago when I moved this weekly ritual from a classroom to my apartment, or at the start of the semester when I'm pretty sure the words "If you do not feel comfortable coming to see me in my house, please let me know and I can hold office hours somewhere else" left my mouth. Students!
Fact #7- Kittens lose their teeth and it's completely normal. (just in case you wanted to know!)
That is all for now. I should get at least 1 essay graded before Jenica returns and finds out I wasted an hour and a half! Oh well, she just walked in... Productivity (and library), here I come!
Showing posts with label catch up. Show all posts
Showing posts with label catch up. Show all posts
Friday, November 6, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
A new year, a new resolution to keep up with this blog!
So... I'm back in Shantou, kicking and screaming all the way back once again! I seriously need to take the hint and maybe consider NOT signing another contract this spring. Remind me of this if you hear me utter anything along the lines of "well, at least it's something, it's a fallback"- it is no longer a fallback. It's a good place, there are good people, friends, students, support for teaching, opportunities for advancement etc, but 4 years will be more than enough.
That said, we started the year quite brilliantly with a professional development retreat to the beautiful island of Hainan. There was the awkward first faculty meeting and group picture, this preceded by the medical "body check" tests downtown which I joined once again this year to hold hands while blood was drawn, meet the new people and get a free ride to and from WalMart with all my stuff. New people are all sort of lost for the time being, but I'm sure will all know their way around faster than I learned to get around town. I still stick to my usual haunts and hope that La Kaffa will not be closed indefinitely, thereby depriving me of my favourite caffeine-providing locale.
The trip to Hainan started on the 5th, bright and early, with all of us appearing packed and ready for fun, sea, bonding and at some point professionally developing into masterful teachers (for those who have not reached that level yet). Flight was uneventful, apart from a cute airline logo, arrival in Haikou included coconut candy (everything there includes coconut in some form!) and the beginning of the Harry Saga. Harry was the tour guide we picked up in Haikou. He was irritating, clapped his hands to get us to do anything, stated the obvious (as in "ok, stand up now!" after we were told to get off the bus), started every sentence with "OK" and ended with "aah" and was generally more than we could deal with during 5 days of forced interaction in 90% humidity and 35C weather (that's realfeel 110-120F according to Accuweather), with daily wake-up calls between the hours of 7:00 and 7:30AM. After a quick lunch, we were taken to the hotel, which had a very pervasive mold/ smoke smell (especially in the room I was assigned and the dining room- enough to put you off any food!), then bused over to Hainan University for a tour during which we stayed on said bus, swung by Evergreen Park, had some dinner back in the hotel then basically crashed as many of us were still recovering from jetlag.
Next day, after a rather Chinese breakfast, we went off to be professionally developed by listening to various talks about teaching English, one of which, from our fearless leader, involved research carried out on myself and fellow faculty members. Apparently, I am easily identifiable as the perpetrator of quotes involving how the language of foreign teachers begins to include never-used-so-often-before words such as "delicious", "convenient" and "hometown". Several people guessed it came from me, even people who weren't sure I'd taken part in this project (about our Chinese and 'home language' selves). The afternoon session of the day involved us splitting into interest groups and discussing various aspects of ELT in China. I joined the Extra-curricular activities group, which ended up just being a group of ELC teachers talking to one HaiDa guy about what we offered, while he told us they had nothing like that and he didn't really know about what did exist at his school, though he suggested that we come up with a way to evaluate the usefulness of these activities rather than just doing whatever came to us at the time. A valid point, but he offered no suggestions as to how to do that... helpful! Dinner that night more than made up for the unfulfilling sessions, as it included a buffet of sushi and delicious desserts!
Day 3 was made up of a lecture/ workshop about the state of ELT in China given by a professor from Macao who had no problem telling it like it is on the Mainland. He may have been walking a fine line, telling us about which newspapers to take from HK and Macao back into 'China' and which it would be best to leave behind, while making it clear to us what he thought of Chinese policy making. I definitely enjoyed the pictures of lower-ranking political figures sleeping through reform speeches in silent protest, boredom or general disregard of their duties in light of the fact that they would have no say either way. Good to see our colleagues reacting to this and nodding along in a not so "toeing the party line" style.
The afternoon was full of bus-time as we made our way across the island to Sanya, land of beautiful beaches and fancy hotels, and our retreat 3 years ago. This time we stayed on a different beach, but the hotel had a great view of our stretch of sand and was close to a bbq area, complete with pushy little girls thrusting firecrackers and Roman candles at me (5 jiao for 1, 1 yuan for 2!) I ended up wandering down the beach with a few people until we found "cocktails" at a "beach bar": 4 mixed drinks of questionable alcohol content at a table on the beach, overlooked by a tiki lamp. It had atmosphere... kind of! New drink: Sanya Bay.
Day 4- was subversive and refused to get back on a bus and get dragged around to another beach, butterfly village, seashell museum and tropical forest (yup, all that in one day!), when there was a perfectly decent sandy area with beautiful waves right in front of my nose the whole time. An unnecessary 7:30AM wake-up call later, my roommate and I were on the beach with overpriced snacks in hand, ready to bake, swim and generally have a great day, starting at 8:30. We jumped in the waves, lay back down to dry off... then 3 guys decided that right next to our heads was the perfect spot for their sunshine-y day- there was no one else on the beach!! Miles of empty sand and they just had to come park themselves in our personal space and take out their cellphones and (presumably) take pictures of us. We quickly decamped cursing the locals and their lack of beach/ human etiquette and found ourselves a pair of wooden lounge chairs with a tiki parasol for 30RMB/ day. More wave-jumping action and perfect positioning between the two lines of breakage of the waves, a little chit-chat with a couple of new colleagues who also went the umbrella/ chairs route rather than the sand/ sun/ annoying people one and we headed back to go hunt down the Muslim quarter for some delicious, non-Harry-ordered foods. No dice with the taxis- they had no idea what the "muselin simiao (Muslim temple)" was. They did offer to take us to a famous temple 20km away though! We settled on a lunch of fish, tofu and egg, but at least, we ordered it ourselves, with me having to serve as the designated Chinese-speaker! Success- I can now get things done, more or less speedily and accurately! I am a whole new person (especially after amazing a new co-worker when I claimed to be "shy and introverted")!
The afternoon plans for yet more wave-fun were dampened by the threatening clouds and intense downpour, though we did manage to make it back out to "our bar" for after-dinner drinks with a bigger group of people. Much discussion and fun for our last day in Sanya.
Day 5- Breakfast (still not approaching "delicious"), bus to Boundary Island where we could swim or join the "water sports games" (oh, Harry and his Chinglish!) The bus ride was fine, the boat ride to the island was quite fun for those of us with a strong stomach- bumpy times! On arrival and after being vastly entertained by some hilarious mannequins in wetsuits- pictures on Flickr to come soon) we excitedly got away from Harry and headed over to the "swimming area"... it was tiny and packed with people. More subversion as a few of us carefully headed over to the next little bay, traipsing through masses of broken coral and happily jumped into beautiful clear water... until we felt a weird shock, heard a tinny sound and we whistled at to get the heck out of the non designate swimming area! There was a policeman on the shore looking annoyed and a guy on a jetski to help enforce the rules. No choice but to turn back and I headed back to the "corral" with two of my fellow rule-breakers (the other 2 tried, it seems, to find a good new spot repeatedly and to annoy the guard as much as possible by keeping eye contact and occasionally trying to make a break for it). Good water, annoying rocks underfoot but fun colleagues did make it all worth the trouble, the staring and the potential sunburn. A communal shower (thankfully no naked colleagues at that time), overpriced drinks, a neutral Chinese lunch later we met up with those who had taken part in the "water sports games" and saw the pictures of them holding onto the coral reefs and picking up sea urchins... my irritation at how these Chinese people (the scuba instructors who condone this, I mean), and other inconsiderate and ignorant people, ruin the environment knows no bounds at this point! I remember being sternly told not to even get close to the reefs when I went diving and here they are grabbing on, picking up random bits off the beach and buying souvenirs made of coral!! Gah!
Anyway, boat ride back was, again, speedy, bumpy and entertaining, made more so by the screams/ squeals of my fellow workmates! More hours on the bus, then the visit of a conference center and another boat ride to the "Jade Belt"- a stretch of sand that looks out onto the South China Sea, a beach with waves the knocked over a few teachers and drenched more than that! The guy holding a turtle that kept trying to beat him up with its 'flippers' was just the cherry on top!
New hotel for the evening and a friend and I went to explore the area around the hotel in an attempt to stay awake past 8PM and find some ice cream/ dessert. The best part was the discovery of the NanGuo Supermarket, not for its offerings (we're better off in Shantou), but for its delectable Chinglish. There were aisles of "bumf", "dentifris", "clean air", "bathebles", "family thing" (yes, singular) and, my favourite, "mop/besom". We did not pay with our "credit carts", but this store definitely could have produced yet more entertainment if we had had time and energy enough for it.
Not much to add about today- a temple with some interesting statues of disgraced mainlanders (with good faces) this morning after a disappointing breakfast and an irritating experience with milktea people who seemed convinced that we did not need large cups and that the small or medium would be more appropriate. Much annoyance at the airport with people in the next line for check-in yelling at each other and shoving into us and Harry making the whole process go about as slowly as possible, while trying hard to grab all bags by the most tearable parts possible. Glad to have left him behind in Hainan! Flight was delayed, we got back to campus after a slight pause on the road to maybe wait for some freshmen. More disappointment and irritation when I got home and the best part of my day may have been the smoothies I had for dinner followed by the Singleton cult movie: Bridget Jones' Diary.
To look forward to (and by that, I mean, to produce fodder for sarcasm and my ever-decreasing patience): Freshman Orientation, grading and more grading... I need to get a squishy stress-ball for this week/ semester/ life!
That said, we started the year quite brilliantly with a professional development retreat to the beautiful island of Hainan. There was the awkward first faculty meeting and group picture, this preceded by the medical "body check" tests downtown which I joined once again this year to hold hands while blood was drawn, meet the new people and get a free ride to and from WalMart with all my stuff. New people are all sort of lost for the time being, but I'm sure will all know their way around faster than I learned to get around town. I still stick to my usual haunts and hope that La Kaffa will not be closed indefinitely, thereby depriving me of my favourite caffeine-providing locale.
The trip to Hainan started on the 5th, bright and early, with all of us appearing packed and ready for fun, sea, bonding and at some point professionally developing into masterful teachers (for those who have not reached that level yet). Flight was uneventful, apart from a cute airline logo, arrival in Haikou included coconut candy (everything there includes coconut in some form!) and the beginning of the Harry Saga. Harry was the tour guide we picked up in Haikou. He was irritating, clapped his hands to get us to do anything, stated the obvious (as in "ok, stand up now!" after we were told to get off the bus), started every sentence with "OK" and ended with "aah" and was generally more than we could deal with during 5 days of forced interaction in 90% humidity and 35C weather (that's realfeel 110-120F according to Accuweather), with daily wake-up calls between the hours of 7:00 and 7:30AM. After a quick lunch, we were taken to the hotel, which had a very pervasive mold/ smoke smell (especially in the room I was assigned and the dining room- enough to put you off any food!), then bused over to Hainan University for a tour during which we stayed on said bus, swung by Evergreen Park, had some dinner back in the hotel then basically crashed as many of us were still recovering from jetlag.
Next day, after a rather Chinese breakfast, we went off to be professionally developed by listening to various talks about teaching English, one of which, from our fearless leader, involved research carried out on myself and fellow faculty members. Apparently, I am easily identifiable as the perpetrator of quotes involving how the language of foreign teachers begins to include never-used-so-often-before words such as "delicious", "convenient" and "hometown". Several people guessed it came from me, even people who weren't sure I'd taken part in this project (about our Chinese and 'home language' selves). The afternoon session of the day involved us splitting into interest groups and discussing various aspects of ELT in China. I joined the Extra-curricular activities group, which ended up just being a group of ELC teachers talking to one HaiDa guy about what we offered, while he told us they had nothing like that and he didn't really know about what did exist at his school, though he suggested that we come up with a way to evaluate the usefulness of these activities rather than just doing whatever came to us at the time. A valid point, but he offered no suggestions as to how to do that... helpful! Dinner that night more than made up for the unfulfilling sessions, as it included a buffet of sushi and delicious desserts!
Day 3 was made up of a lecture/ workshop about the state of ELT in China given by a professor from Macao who had no problem telling it like it is on the Mainland. He may have been walking a fine line, telling us about which newspapers to take from HK and Macao back into 'China' and which it would be best to leave behind, while making it clear to us what he thought of Chinese policy making. I definitely enjoyed the pictures of lower-ranking political figures sleeping through reform speeches in silent protest, boredom or general disregard of their duties in light of the fact that they would have no say either way. Good to see our colleagues reacting to this and nodding along in a not so "toeing the party line" style.
The afternoon was full of bus-time as we made our way across the island to Sanya, land of beautiful beaches and fancy hotels, and our retreat 3 years ago. This time we stayed on a different beach, but the hotel had a great view of our stretch of sand and was close to a bbq area, complete with pushy little girls thrusting firecrackers and Roman candles at me (5 jiao for 1, 1 yuan for 2!) I ended up wandering down the beach with a few people until we found "cocktails" at a "beach bar": 4 mixed drinks of questionable alcohol content at a table on the beach, overlooked by a tiki lamp. It had atmosphere... kind of! New drink: Sanya Bay.
Day 4- was subversive and refused to get back on a bus and get dragged around to another beach, butterfly village, seashell museum and tropical forest (yup, all that in one day!), when there was a perfectly decent sandy area with beautiful waves right in front of my nose the whole time. An unnecessary 7:30AM wake-up call later, my roommate and I were on the beach with overpriced snacks in hand, ready to bake, swim and generally have a great day, starting at 8:30. We jumped in the waves, lay back down to dry off... then 3 guys decided that right next to our heads was the perfect spot for their sunshine-y day- there was no one else on the beach!! Miles of empty sand and they just had to come park themselves in our personal space and take out their cellphones and (presumably) take pictures of us. We quickly decamped cursing the locals and their lack of beach/ human etiquette and found ourselves a pair of wooden lounge chairs with a tiki parasol for 30RMB/ day. More wave-jumping action and perfect positioning between the two lines of breakage of the waves, a little chit-chat with a couple of new colleagues who also went the umbrella/ chairs route rather than the sand/ sun/ annoying people one and we headed back to go hunt down the Muslim quarter for some delicious, non-Harry-ordered foods. No dice with the taxis- they had no idea what the "muselin simiao (Muslim temple)" was. They did offer to take us to a famous temple 20km away though! We settled on a lunch of fish, tofu and egg, but at least, we ordered it ourselves, with me having to serve as the designated Chinese-speaker! Success- I can now get things done, more or less speedily and accurately! I am a whole new person (especially after amazing a new co-worker when I claimed to be "shy and introverted")!
The afternoon plans for yet more wave-fun were dampened by the threatening clouds and intense downpour, though we did manage to make it back out to "our bar" for after-dinner drinks with a bigger group of people. Much discussion and fun for our last day in Sanya.
Day 5- Breakfast (still not approaching "delicious"), bus to Boundary Island where we could swim or join the "water sports games" (oh, Harry and his Chinglish!) The bus ride was fine, the boat ride to the island was quite fun for those of us with a strong stomach- bumpy times! On arrival and after being vastly entertained by some hilarious mannequins in wetsuits- pictures on Flickr to come soon) we excitedly got away from Harry and headed over to the "swimming area"... it was tiny and packed with people. More subversion as a few of us carefully headed over to the next little bay, traipsing through masses of broken coral and happily jumped into beautiful clear water... until we felt a weird shock, heard a tinny sound and we whistled at to get the heck out of the non designate swimming area! There was a policeman on the shore looking annoyed and a guy on a jetski to help enforce the rules. No choice but to turn back and I headed back to the "corral" with two of my fellow rule-breakers (the other 2 tried, it seems, to find a good new spot repeatedly and to annoy the guard as much as possible by keeping eye contact and occasionally trying to make a break for it). Good water, annoying rocks underfoot but fun colleagues did make it all worth the trouble, the staring and the potential sunburn. A communal shower (thankfully no naked colleagues at that time), overpriced drinks, a neutral Chinese lunch later we met up with those who had taken part in the "water sports games" and saw the pictures of them holding onto the coral reefs and picking up sea urchins... my irritation at how these Chinese people (the scuba instructors who condone this, I mean), and other inconsiderate and ignorant people, ruin the environment knows no bounds at this point! I remember being sternly told not to even get close to the reefs when I went diving and here they are grabbing on, picking up random bits off the beach and buying souvenirs made of coral!! Gah!
Anyway, boat ride back was, again, speedy, bumpy and entertaining, made more so by the screams/ squeals of my fellow workmates! More hours on the bus, then the visit of a conference center and another boat ride to the "Jade Belt"- a stretch of sand that looks out onto the South China Sea, a beach with waves the knocked over a few teachers and drenched more than that! The guy holding a turtle that kept trying to beat him up with its 'flippers' was just the cherry on top!
New hotel for the evening and a friend and I went to explore the area around the hotel in an attempt to stay awake past 8PM and find some ice cream/ dessert. The best part was the discovery of the NanGuo Supermarket, not for its offerings (we're better off in Shantou), but for its delectable Chinglish. There were aisles of "bumf", "dentifris", "clean air", "bathebles", "family thing" (yes, singular) and, my favourite, "mop/besom". We did not pay with our "credit carts", but this store definitely could have produced yet more entertainment if we had had time and energy enough for it.
Not much to add about today- a temple with some interesting statues of disgraced mainlanders (with good faces) this morning after a disappointing breakfast and an irritating experience with milktea people who seemed convinced that we did not need large cups and that the small or medium would be more appropriate. Much annoyance at the airport with people in the next line for check-in yelling at each other and shoving into us and Harry making the whole process go about as slowly as possible, while trying hard to grab all bags by the most tearable parts possible. Glad to have left him behind in Hainan! Flight was delayed, we got back to campus after a slight pause on the road to maybe wait for some freshmen. More disappointment and irritation when I got home and the best part of my day may have been the smoothies I had for dinner followed by the Singleton cult movie: Bridget Jones' Diary.
To look forward to (and by that, I mean, to produce fodder for sarcasm and my ever-decreasing patience): Freshman Orientation, grading and more grading... I need to get a squishy stress-ball for this week/ semester/ life!
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Student presentations
I have been bad at keeping up-to-date with my adventures here, but this weekend I have some down time so I thought I'd write up my notes on student presentations. As usual, for level 4, students gave presentations about original business ideas. Among the weird Chinglish and strange products, as few quotes stood out. "Pressure" was pronounced "pleasure" repeatedly (just think about "when you are facing much pressure, going to bed is very helpful" or "nowadays, women face many pressures in life" or "people are slaves of pressure").
In my first class:
"Do you want to enjoy your lovers on valentine’s day?"
"help the students while hunting jobs" (I'm thinking... with a gun)
"our slogan is... "magic"" (accompanied by a grandiose arm-swoop- you could almost see the cape)
And my favourite- A group promoting a "superstar factory" where they can make you famous, beautiful or whatever. The whole presentation was pretty good, but the highlight for me was one of the students, John (who was in the musical last semester for EF and is kind of a clown) who was supposed to be a girl who is ugly (holds up picture of ugly face with glasses/ pigtails/ warts etc in front of his head) then is turned beautiful (flowing hair, thick lips and large eyes) by the service. He spoke in a falsetto voice, shook his arms (and cardboard face) at the sky in desperation at "having everything, except friendship and love... because I am so ugly!!" and scared people into crossing the street by his/ her ugliness. His switch into a low announcer/ tv-presenter-style voice for the end of the commercial ("and now, if you want to contact us, don't hesitate to dial...") was the icing on the cake.
Class 2 was less delicious, though still quite quote-worthy.
There was "Dig truth" the P.I. company that will solve all cases, including "high-tech crime, love triangle, economic crime" and promised to work with black and white people, out of their 221b Baker Street address.
Two students promised: "We will only service people once in their life" (I believe about a wedding service so successful you'll never divorce).
A tea shop suggested that "if your product is equal to rubbish, if you don’t have to advertising".
There was a travel agency that made people use their imagination to see great sights. When a reporter joined a tour and questioned the methods was murdered by the guide.
One used the slogan "Yes, we can!" repeatedly and emphatically to tell us how good they were at solving all sorts of sartorial, behavioral or financial problems. The moment when one student pretended to strip and change into other clothes was priceless, as was the response of "who made you look this stupid?!" from the kindly assistant.
Finally, a punching-bag company promised any way to "release yourself" would be made available to you to avoid pressure ("pleasure") from overwhelming you, because suicide and killing parents and friends would really be a pity. (Imagine this being said in a very peppy tone)
Class 3 has my outgoing students but sadly, their presentations weren't quite as memorable, weeks later. My notes read like this:
Falsetto- help! Help me! I can’t see you!- lion: oops- my supper! (this was to advertise glow-in-the-dark clothing to be worn during safaris to avoid getting found and eaten by lions when you're looking for help)
1/3 of our life is spent on the bed- pillow is a very important part of our bed. If have 2 dream pillows, can share dreams. It smells good, but be careful that the pillow can’t be eaten! Complementary pics on pillows to make “romantic pairs” (in reference to special pillows to help you dream better and, I think, record your dreams)
“rear-service”- Cindy… not sure what that means. Company Escort service. Symbol similar to “ming” (cuddly sun and moon) spooky bodybuilder/ soldier “if you feel lonely, come this way →” we have 1G RMB- I am so happy (this group offered escorts to help you with any situation you need- visiting parents, outings, protection etc... I'm still unsure about what 'rear-service' is, but they were very excited about starting their business with 1,000,000RMB as they mentioned it at least twice).
enjoy life, enjoy housea? Oh, you know, I hate my life, I want to have a look. Q&A session- 1G RMB- so cheap? (this group offered houses built on the sea that are basically houseboats. The customer who was fooled into parting with 1,000,000RMB for one seemed quite happy about his bargain during the interview he gave.)
L&F- love and flowers (and puppies?)- boy playing a girl- as usual… dancing- translate The Song- awkward date “don’t you want to say something else?”- “I love you” to Rachel- shock. shut up! Who says I have a gf?- hugs- weird falsetto (students chant “kiss kiss”) (bear in mind that Rachel is a male student and the group was mostly male- they like to cross-dress for oral tests. I can't say I remember exactly what was going on, except that the name of the company made me think of wandering around fields and listening to "the sound of music" and that flowers were supposed to solve all marital and realtional problems)
Robot woman to clean day and night (she will reinforce all stereotypes about what women should do for the house)
"You wish, I do". If you want to go to the moon, sorry not possible. But if you want to be king for one day, we will contact the people at gugong (Forbidden City) and do something. (We will make all your dreams come true... except the impossible ones).
In my first class:
"Do you want to enjoy your lovers on valentine’s day?"
"help the students while hunting jobs" (I'm thinking... with a gun)
"our slogan is... "magic"" (accompanied by a grandiose arm-swoop- you could almost see the cape)
And my favourite- A group promoting a "superstar factory" where they can make you famous, beautiful or whatever. The whole presentation was pretty good, but the highlight for me was one of the students, John (who was in the musical last semester for EF and is kind of a clown) who was supposed to be a girl who is ugly (holds up picture of ugly face with glasses/ pigtails/ warts etc in front of his head) then is turned beautiful (flowing hair, thick lips and large eyes) by the service. He spoke in a falsetto voice, shook his arms (and cardboard face) at the sky in desperation at "having everything, except friendship and love... because I am so ugly!!" and scared people into crossing the street by his/ her ugliness. His switch into a low announcer/ tv-presenter-style voice for the end of the commercial ("and now, if you want to contact us, don't hesitate to dial...") was the icing on the cake.
Class 2 was less delicious, though still quite quote-worthy.
There was "Dig truth" the P.I. company that will solve all cases, including "high-tech crime, love triangle, economic crime" and promised to work with black and white people, out of their 221b Baker Street address.
Two students promised: "We will only service people once in their life" (I believe about a wedding service so successful you'll never divorce).
A tea shop suggested that "if your product is equal to rubbish, if you don’t have to advertising".
There was a travel agency that made people use their imagination to see great sights. When a reporter joined a tour and questioned the methods was murdered by the guide.
One used the slogan "Yes, we can!" repeatedly and emphatically to tell us how good they were at solving all sorts of sartorial, behavioral or financial problems. The moment when one student pretended to strip and change into other clothes was priceless, as was the response of "who made you look this stupid?!" from the kindly assistant.
Finally, a punching-bag company promised any way to "release yourself" would be made available to you to avoid pressure ("pleasure") from overwhelming you, because suicide and killing parents and friends would really be a pity. (Imagine this being said in a very peppy tone)
Class 3 has my outgoing students but sadly, their presentations weren't quite as memorable, weeks later. My notes read like this:
Falsetto- help! Help me! I can’t see you!- lion: oops- my supper! (this was to advertise glow-in-the-dark clothing to be worn during safaris to avoid getting found and eaten by lions when you're looking for help)
1/3 of our life is spent on the bed- pillow is a very important part of our bed. If have 2 dream pillows, can share dreams. It smells good, but be careful that the pillow can’t be eaten! Complementary pics on pillows to make “romantic pairs” (in reference to special pillows to help you dream better and, I think, record your dreams)
“rear-service”- Cindy… not sure what that means. Company Escort service. Symbol similar to “ming” (cuddly sun and moon) spooky bodybuilder/ soldier “if you feel lonely, come this way →” we have 1G RMB- I am so happy (this group offered escorts to help you with any situation you need- visiting parents, outings, protection etc... I'm still unsure about what 'rear-service' is, but they were very excited about starting their business with 1,000,000RMB as they mentioned it at least twice).
enjoy life, enjoy housea? Oh, you know, I hate my life, I want to have a look. Q&A session- 1G RMB- so cheap? (this group offered houses built on the sea that are basically houseboats. The customer who was fooled into parting with 1,000,000RMB for one seemed quite happy about his bargain during the interview he gave.)
L&F- love and flowers (and puppies?)- boy playing a girl- as usual… dancing- translate The Song- awkward date “don’t you want to say something else?”- “I love you” to Rachel- shock. shut up! Who says I have a gf?- hugs- weird falsetto (students chant “kiss kiss”) (bear in mind that Rachel is a male student and the group was mostly male- they like to cross-dress for oral tests. I can't say I remember exactly what was going on, except that the name of the company made me think of wandering around fields and listening to "the sound of music" and that flowers were supposed to solve all marital and realtional problems)
Robot woman to clean day and night (she will reinforce all stereotypes about what women should do for the house)
"You wish, I do". If you want to go to the moon, sorry not possible. But if you want to be king for one day, we will contact the people at gugong (Forbidden City) and do something. (We will make all your dreams come true... except the impossible ones).
Monday, November 17, 2008
Playing catchup... again
I know I'd promised myself to be good and blog regularly but it just didn't happen. Also, Blogspot just got blocked in China which isn't going to encourage me to post. If anyone is reading, just remind me you care or ask questions, then I'll feel useful and get my act together!
Anyway, right after my last post we had the English Festival semi-finals. Rehearsal all afternoon Saturday which was very frustrating as nothing was going according to plan: singers were late, dancers were AWOL, a band took 45 minutes to set up, then didn't practice, speakers were really loud or really quiet, the music sometimes had too many backup singers, the powerpoints weren't 100% official-looking, the MCs' clothing had some issues... it was a neverending list of worries. Then, the speech contest went passably well, with the student/ friend I had been coaching making it to the finals along with 2 of my former students, a student of HP's and one of M's. Sadly my current students who were involved didn't make it, but they did pretty well anyway. The only disappointment was the abysmal performance of the purported star of the show, a senior law student who forgot his speech several times.
During Singing Contest, my favourite act (a current student and her partner who I had in my class my first semester) did really well as did most of the other singers. The songs were, sadly, all slow and love-y (apart from the last Avril Lavigne entry) but the entertaining clothes and mostly good singing helped make the evening less tedious than I'd anticipated. For the most part, the contestants did way better than they had during any of the workshops and rehearsals and I was really impressed by a few. The ones who were chosen for the final were basically the ones I expected and I hope they do as well in front of a bigger audience and can give our guests a run for their money (might secretly be hoping that pair I mentioned is so awesome they win)!
After the semifinals, I had the joy of grading quizzes and written assignments. The quizzes went fast, as they usually do, and were graded and ready to be returned by the end of the day I got them. Not so for the papers! As a level, we decided (more or less enthusiastically) to assign both a resume and a cover letter. As most of the students have never written either one in Chinese, let alone English, it was quite a challenge for them. And a challenge to grade. There were some stellar ones that might have gotten interviews and some that were so mediocre I wondered if the students had been in class when I assigned the topic. There were also the exciting and entertaining quotes, such as "the snakes called "JKAOMT AMERICAN FIRES". It is very crisp and delicious", "You can touch me by my telephone number" and "I have been responsible for surprising the accounting and billing department". One student claimed he worked for a long "pyramid of time" and another had the award of "Sock dolager of military training"... nope, I didn't get it either!
In the end the scores were less delicious than the AMERICAN FIRES and the students seemed to realize that. Now, a couple of weeks after a quiz, an oral and a paper, I'm asking them to start on the next written assignment, a compare and contrast essay about culture. It promises to be interesting.
Other than work, I haven't done much! I went to a J-School party last week, where they celebrated the 5th anniversary of the school, and I got to see the dance team which features a number of current, former and known students perform a nifty show where the umbrella-carrying statues of the public art by the reservoir came to life during a rainstorm. I was whelmed. :) That night I also went clubbing/ bar-ing with a colleague and it was quite fun! I got to meet some of the downtown laowai who were quite the step up from the last batch I knew! I went back downtown for a drink and a dance this Friday night, with almost all my foreign colleagues to support another colleague who was making his DJing debut. Sadly he only got to play 3 or 4 songs, but his selection did get us moving more than the 'professionals' who are actually regularly employed there.
That's about all until I get my act together and summarize those oral presentations I've babbled about several times! Next week we do feng shui and design a house with good feng shui!
Anyway, right after my last post we had the English Festival semi-finals. Rehearsal all afternoon Saturday which was very frustrating as nothing was going according to plan: singers were late, dancers were AWOL, a band took 45 minutes to set up, then didn't practice, speakers were really loud or really quiet, the music sometimes had too many backup singers, the powerpoints weren't 100% official-looking, the MCs' clothing had some issues... it was a neverending list of worries. Then, the speech contest went passably well, with the student/ friend I had been coaching making it to the finals along with 2 of my former students, a student of HP's and one of M's. Sadly my current students who were involved didn't make it, but they did pretty well anyway. The only disappointment was the abysmal performance of the purported star of the show, a senior law student who forgot his speech several times.
During Singing Contest, my favourite act (a current student and her partner who I had in my class my first semester) did really well as did most of the other singers. The songs were, sadly, all slow and love-y (apart from the last Avril Lavigne entry) but the entertaining clothes and mostly good singing helped make the evening less tedious than I'd anticipated. For the most part, the contestants did way better than they had during any of the workshops and rehearsals and I was really impressed by a few. The ones who were chosen for the final were basically the ones I expected and I hope they do as well in front of a bigger audience and can give our guests a run for their money (might secretly be hoping that pair I mentioned is so awesome they win)!
After the semifinals, I had the joy of grading quizzes and written assignments. The quizzes went fast, as they usually do, and were graded and ready to be returned by the end of the day I got them. Not so for the papers! As a level, we decided (more or less enthusiastically) to assign both a resume and a cover letter. As most of the students have never written either one in Chinese, let alone English, it was quite a challenge for them. And a challenge to grade. There were some stellar ones that might have gotten interviews and some that were so mediocre I wondered if the students had been in class when I assigned the topic. There were also the exciting and entertaining quotes, such as "the snakes called "JKAOMT AMERICAN FIRES". It is very crisp and delicious", "You can touch me by my telephone number" and "I have been responsible for surprising the accounting and billing department". One student claimed he worked for a long "pyramid of time" and another had the award of "Sock dolager of military training"... nope, I didn't get it either!
In the end the scores were less delicious than the AMERICAN FIRES and the students seemed to realize that. Now, a couple of weeks after a quiz, an oral and a paper, I'm asking them to start on the next written assignment, a compare and contrast essay about culture. It promises to be interesting.
Other than work, I haven't done much! I went to a J-School party last week, where they celebrated the 5th anniversary of the school, and I got to see the dance team which features a number of current, former and known students perform a nifty show where the umbrella-carrying statues of the public art by the reservoir came to life during a rainstorm. I was whelmed. :) That night I also went clubbing/ bar-ing with a colleague and it was quite fun! I got to meet some of the downtown laowai who were quite the step up from the last batch I knew! I went back downtown for a drink and a dance this Friday night, with almost all my foreign colleagues to support another colleague who was making his DJing debut. Sadly he only got to play 3 or 4 songs, but his selection did get us moving more than the 'professionals' who are actually regularly employed there.
That's about all until I get my act together and summarize those oral presentations I've babbled about several times! Next week we do feng shui and design a house with good feng shui!
Saturday, September 27, 2008
So far this semester
I'm not even going to try to catch anyone reading this up with life since my last LJ post (roughly 5 months ago!). However, there have already been a series of weird/ noteworthy events since I returned to Shantou almost a month ago. Therefore, so far this semester, I have....
- Resettled into the apartment, first with Jamin as a very temporary roommate and now with Daniel (only slightly less temporary)
- Been sad that Bucket (the kitten rescued last semester) had been adopted
- Been reunited with Bucket for the semester (his new pet human not having factored in the roommate issue when she took him home)
- Met 7 new ELC teachers, all of whom are nifty colleagues
- Returned to Xiamen (I went last semester with Philippe and his parents) with 2 of the new group and spent 3 days between the beach and the non-Shantou scenery- it was awesome!
- Gotten 2 leg massages
- Eaten long awaited sushi (far too expensive in Paris)
- Taken part in Freshman Orientation, complete with "Going to the Movies" skit and the Hokey Pokey
- Graded 87 oral placement tests and over 100 written placement tests, some of which were pretty entertaining and others really impressive
- Have become a level coordinator, which just means I have to send more emails than a regular level person
- Celebrates Mid-Autumn Festival, Chinese-style, by eating mooncakes and youzi (kinda like a cross between an apple and a grapefruit) and staring at the moon
- Have had 2 meetings for English Festival and still no decided list of universities who will come compete
- Have prepared and taught 2 sets of classes (and really should get on with planning prep 3 since I teach it in 24 hours)
- Have met, taken pictures of, read quick bios about and assigned homework to 105 new students (there might be 3 more at some point)
- Have had at least 4 students confused about the homework
- Have been to EL where I was interrogated about my dislike of beer, my hometown (France...), introduced to Haerbin, asked about the meaning of my Chinese name (then asked again right after I had answered- it means "delicate/ skillful cloud), had someone snap his fingers at me to get my attention and where it was explained to me by a confused student that because his computer is old, if he looks things up on the internet, he'll get less good results than if he uses a new computer (whaaat?!)
- Have booked tickets to Shanghai, Hangzhou and Suzhou for my October vacation (starting tomorrow night, already!)
- Made several trips to Wal-Mart, land of the laowai
- Blended several recipes together to make a new one for Roasted Red Pepper, Onion and Tomato Quiche for a pot-luck
- Hosted said pot-luck
- Swum in both the pool and reservoir
- Been creeped out by a freshman called Benz.
- Procrastinated away significant parts of my time since I started teaching by doing "useful things" like setting up mail forwarding and this new blog....
Temporarily Displaced
Due to the strange instability of posting to blogs and accessing them in general in China, I'm having to switch hosts for a while. Blogspot is accessible here, but not Livejournal. I was, until about an hour ago, able to get to Livejournal anyway but now, it's blocked. I'm hoping that will change, but until then, I'll be over here.
Someone mentioned a couple days ago that I'm a posting camel- nothing for a really long time, then a huge life-catching up post. I'm planning to be better this semester, especially as I look towards changing locations and jobs and try to get my mind around leaving this crazy place.
Someone mentioned a couple days ago that I'm a posting camel- nothing for a really long time, then a huge life-catching up post. I'm planning to be better this semester, especially as I look towards changing locations and jobs and try to get my mind around leaving this crazy place.
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