A new year, a new resolution to keep up with this blog!

So... I'm back in Shantou, kicking and screaming all the way back once again! I seriously need to take the hint and maybe consider NOT signing another contract this spring. Remind me of this if you hear me utter anything along the lines of "well, at least it's something, it's a fallback"- it is no longer a fallback. It's a good place, there are good people, friends, students, support for teaching, opportunities for advancement etc, but 4 years will be more than enough.

That said, we started the year quite brilliantly with a professional development retreat to the beautiful island of Hainan. There was the awkward first faculty meeting and group picture, this preceded by the medical "body check" tests downtown which I joined once again this year to hold hands while blood was drawn, meet the new people and get a free ride to and from WalMart with all my stuff. New people are all sort of lost for the time being, but I'm sure will all know their way around faster than I learned to get around town. I still stick to my usual haunts and hope that La Kaffa will not be closed indefinitely, thereby depriving me of my favourite caffeine-providing locale.

The trip to Hainan started on the 5th, bright and early, with all of us appearing packed and ready for fun, sea, bonding and at some point professionally developing into masterful teachers (for those who have not reached that level yet). Flight was uneventful, apart from a cute airline logo, arrival in Haikou included coconut candy (everything there includes coconut in some form!) and the beginning of the Harry Saga. Harry was the tour guide we picked up in Haikou. He was irritating, clapped his hands to get us to do anything, stated the obvious (as in "ok, stand up now!" after we were told to get off the bus), started every sentence with "OK" and ended with "aah" and was generally more than we could deal with during 5 days of forced interaction in 90% humidity and 35C weather (that's realfeel 110-120F according to Accuweather), with daily wake-up calls between the hours of 7:00 and 7:30AM. After a quick lunch, we were taken to the hotel, which had a very pervasive mold/ smoke smell (especially in the room I was assigned and the dining room- enough to put you off any food!), then bused over to Hainan University for a tour during which we stayed on said bus, swung by Evergreen Park, had some dinner back in the hotel then basically crashed as many of us were still recovering from jetlag.

Next day, after a rather Chinese breakfast, we went off to be professionally developed by listening to various talks about teaching English, one of which, from our fearless leader, involved research carried out on myself and fellow faculty members. Apparently, I am easily identifiable as the perpetrator of quotes involving how the language of foreign teachers begins to include never-used-so-often-before words such as "delicious", "convenient" and "hometown". Several people guessed it came from me, even people who weren't sure I'd taken part in this project (about our Chinese and 'home language' selves). The afternoon session of the day involved us splitting into interest groups and discussing various aspects of ELT in China. I joined the Extra-curricular activities group, which ended up just being a group of ELC teachers talking to one HaiDa guy about what we offered, while he told us they had nothing like that and he didn't really know about what did exist at his school, though he suggested that we come up with a way to evaluate the usefulness of these activities rather than just doing whatever came to us at the time. A valid point, but he offered no suggestions as to how to do that... helpful! Dinner that night more than made up for the unfulfilling sessions, as it included a buffet of sushi and delicious desserts!

Day 3 was made up of a lecture/ workshop about the state of ELT in China given by a professor from Macao who had no problem telling it like it is on the Mainland. He may have been walking a fine line, telling us about which newspapers to take from HK and Macao back into 'China' and which it would be best to leave behind, while making it clear to us what he thought of Chinese policy making. I definitely enjoyed the pictures of lower-ranking political figures sleeping through reform speeches in silent protest, boredom or general disregard of their duties in light of the fact that they would have no say either way. Good to see our colleagues reacting to this and nodding along in a not so "toeing the party line" style.
The afternoon was full of bus-time as we made our way across the island to Sanya, land of beautiful beaches and fancy hotels, and our retreat 3 years ago. This time we stayed on a different beach, but the hotel had a great view of our stretch of sand and was close to a bbq area, complete with pushy little girls thrusting firecrackers and Roman candles at me (5 jiao for 1, 1 yuan for 2!) I ended up wandering down the beach with a few people until we found "cocktails" at a "beach bar": 4 mixed drinks of questionable alcohol content at a table on the beach, overlooked by a tiki lamp. It had atmosphere... kind of! New drink: Sanya Bay.

Day 4- was subversive and refused to get back on a bus and get dragged around to another beach, butterfly village, seashell museum and tropical forest (yup, all that in one day!), when there was a perfectly decent sandy area with beautiful waves right in front of my nose the whole time. An unnecessary 7:30AM wake-up call later, my roommate and I were on the beach with overpriced snacks in hand, ready to bake, swim and generally have a great day, starting at 8:30. We jumped in the waves, lay back down to dry off... then 3 guys decided that right next to our heads was the perfect spot for their sunshine-y day- there was no one else on the beach!! Miles of empty sand and they just had to come park themselves in our personal space and take out their cellphones and (presumably) take pictures of us. We quickly decamped cursing the locals and their lack of beach/ human etiquette and found ourselves a pair of wooden lounge chairs with a tiki parasol for 30RMB/ day. More wave-jumping action and perfect positioning between the two lines of breakage of the waves, a little chit-chat with a couple of new colleagues who also went the umbrella/ chairs route rather than the sand/ sun/ annoying people one and we headed back to go hunt down the Muslim quarter for some delicious, non-Harry-ordered foods. No dice with the taxis- they had no idea what the "muselin simiao (Muslim temple)" was. They did offer to take us to a famous temple 20km away though! We settled on a lunch of fish, tofu and egg, but at least, we ordered it ourselves, with me having to serve as the designated Chinese-speaker! Success- I can now get things done, more or less speedily and accurately! I am a whole new person (especially after amazing a new co-worker when I claimed to be "shy and introverted")!
The afternoon plans for yet more wave-fun were dampened by the threatening clouds and intense downpour, though we did manage to make it back out to "our bar" for after-dinner drinks with a bigger group of people. Much discussion and fun for our last day in Sanya.

Day 5- Breakfast (still not approaching "delicious"), bus to Boundary Island where we could swim or join the "water sports games" (oh, Harry and his Chinglish!) The bus ride was fine, the boat ride to the island was quite fun for those of us with a strong stomach- bumpy times! On arrival and after being vastly entertained by some hilarious mannequins in wetsuits- pictures on Flickr to come soon) we excitedly got away from Harry and headed over to the "swimming area"... it was tiny and packed with people. More subversion as a few of us carefully headed over to the next little bay, traipsing through masses of broken coral and happily jumped into beautiful clear water... until we felt a weird shock, heard a tinny sound and we whistled at to get the heck out of the non designate swimming area! There was a policeman on the shore looking annoyed and a guy on a jetski to help enforce the rules. No choice but to turn back and I headed back to the "corral" with two of my fellow rule-breakers (the other 2 tried, it seems, to find a good new spot repeatedly and to annoy the guard as much as possible by keeping eye contact and occasionally trying to make a break for it). Good water, annoying rocks underfoot but fun colleagues did make it all worth the trouble, the staring and the potential sunburn. A communal shower (thankfully no naked colleagues at that time), overpriced drinks, a neutral Chinese lunch later we met up with those who had taken part in the "water sports games" and saw the pictures of them holding onto the coral reefs and picking up sea urchins... my irritation at how these Chinese people (the scuba instructors who condone this, I mean), and other inconsiderate and ignorant people, ruin the environment knows no bounds at this point! I remember being sternly told not to even get close to the reefs when I went diving and here they are grabbing on, picking up random bits off the beach and buying souvenirs made of coral!! Gah!
Anyway, boat ride back was, again, speedy, bumpy and entertaining, made more so by the screams/ squeals of my fellow workmates! More hours on the bus, then the visit of a conference center and another boat ride to the "Jade Belt"- a stretch of sand that looks out onto the South China Sea, a beach with waves the knocked over a few teachers and drenched more than that! The guy holding a turtle that kept trying to beat him up with its 'flippers' was just the cherry on top!
New hotel for the evening and a friend and I went to explore the area around the hotel in an attempt to stay awake past 8PM and find some ice cream/ dessert. The best part was the discovery of the NanGuo Supermarket, not for its offerings (we're better off in Shantou), but for its delectable Chinglish. There were aisles of "bumf", "dentifris", "clean air", "bathebles", "family thing" (yes, singular) and, my favourite, "mop/besom". We did not pay with our "credit carts", but this store definitely could have produced yet more entertainment if we had had time and energy enough for it.

Not much to add about today- a temple with some interesting statues of disgraced mainlanders (with good faces) this morning after a disappointing breakfast and an irritating experience with milktea people who seemed convinced that we did not need large cups and that the small or medium would be more appropriate. Much annoyance at the airport with people in the next line for check-in yelling at each other and shoving into us and Harry making the whole process go about as slowly as possible, while trying hard to grab all bags by the most tearable parts possible. Glad to have left him behind in Hainan! Flight was delayed, we got back to campus after a slight pause on the road to maybe wait for some freshmen. More disappointment and irritation when I got home and the best part of my day may have been the smoothies I had for dinner followed by the Singleton cult movie: Bridget Jones' Diary.

To look forward to (and by that, I mean, to produce fodder for sarcasm and my ever-decreasing patience): Freshman Orientation, grading and more grading... I need to get a squishy stress-ball for this week/ semester/ life!